Code
by SherlockSoka
Summary: "Traumatic. Horrid. Dead. That is how I am described. I cannot be saved. I am not a number. I am not a duplicate. I am a monster, a fallen soldier." Rated M for frightening sences, blood & gore, adult language and violence. OC's POV, mostly.
1. Prologue: Failing

_Prologue_

I was afraid,

Afraid to face my reflection.

I was wrong,

Wrong to risk my life,

Over something

So irrelevant.

I was ignorant,

Ignorant to endanger others,

At the cost of my pride.

I was confused,

Confused what we were fighting for.

Justice?

Reward?

Peace?

I don't know anymore.

I don't know who I am

I don't know why I am,

This way.

You may try to restrain me,

But my fear and rage reign.

You may try to comfort me,

But my guilt and sorrow,

pull me ever deeper into the abyss.

You may try to know me,

But I am a stranger,

In all eyes.

You may try to love me,

But I will always be the demon inside.

You may try to understand me,

Yet even I do not.

You may try to strengthen me,

But no strength can save me.

You may try to forgive me,

But I cannot forgive myself.

You may try to help me,

But no being or spirit can help me now.

You may try to respect me,

But the crusted blood on my hands

Block me from ever earning it.

You may try to heal me,

But my wounds are more than they seem.

You may try to speak to me,

But my cries will go unheard.

You may try to touch me,

But my anger will pull me away.

You may try to fight me,

But I will

Lose

Control

And you will drown in your own blood.

You may try to revive me,

But my heart has already given way.

You may try to guide me,

But I am hopelessly lost in my own mind.

You may try

But

You

Will

Fail


	2. Falling

**Vein's POV**

They say I am insane. They say I am crazy. They say I'm a killer. They say I am a monster. All those lies are true, yet I say the truth of my lies. They try to restore my soul, but it has already died.

Relax, they say. We will help you, they say. We don't want to hurt you, they say. I see through their lies and deception like air.

When I do as they say, I see the fresh blood at my feet, the corrupted smile on my face. I see the bodies…everywhere. I see what I am.

Traumatic. Horrid. Dead. That is how I am described. I cannot be saved. I am not a number. I am not a duplicate. I am a monster, a fallen soldier.

I can never change what happened. I can never change. I can't change my mind. I do not have a say in my life. This battle within me is failing

My thoughts are being stained by the blood. Those men in white…all those men…falling. Falling. I pushed them off the ledge between life and death. I was afraid that I would fall. But, no…I had to push them over. Their once proud, white, shining souls are black as night, red as blood.

Falling…

Falling…

_ Falling…_


	3. Report

**Doctor Feinz' POV**

Patient #327 Report: Month 1 of Rehabilitation

Name: Ct5556

IQ: 209

Rank: Commander

Gender: Female

Height: 5'8"

Weight: 173 lbs.

Age: 13, 2x average growth rate.

Patient was received at 0345 on the fifth of November. Subject attempted attack on medics. Attack attempt failed. Patient sedated and moved into mental rehabilitation.

Later tests revealed severe head trauma. Severe depression, insanity and post-traumatic stress prominent.

After several escape attempts, patient was put in straitjacket treatment combined with solitary confinement. After 1 week of confinement, released for heavy treatment. Attempts of communications finish with five medics with severe injuries.

Clearly, this patient cannot be allowed access to the outside world ever again. I request permission to attempt cognitive recalibration.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jakon Feinz, PhD, MD

Director of Mental Hospital, Coracant


	4. Reply

Reply: Ct5556 Cog. Recal. Request.

I understand your concern for this patient, but I have reviewed your test data and came to a conclusion that this patient is not ready for cognitive recalibration. If you start such a treatment, the patient might become overwhelmed and possibly commit suicide or escape.

I recommend that you put the patient back into straitjacket confinement therapy. Tests results after treatment were astounding.

Use caution with this subject.

Sincerely,

Dr. Omniz, Ph D, MD

Medical Director of Republic Hospitals


	5. Assured

**Vein's POV**

As I stared out the window, I let my shattered mind wander. Simply thinking of the blood I had shed, all the things I had done made me retch. I looked down to the restraints on my wrists, seeing the hands that I hated. I leaned back onto the gurney, hoping that those damn doctors would let me go already.

I heard the door slide open and the guards' footsteps, along with the soft clunks of the doctor's leather shoes. I didn't even turn my head, I just kept staring at the speeders whizzing by through the five-inch bulletproof glass.

"Ah, Patient 327, how have you been?" the heavily accented voice pierced the dead silent air. I turned and looked at the doctor with a sneer on my face.

"Well, well…well," I croaked, trying to sound menacing. "Look what the gundark dragged in."

"I see that your dirty sense of humor survived your therapy," the doctor observed, looking at me as if I was a zoo animal. "We will-"

"Cut the crap," I groaned. "Stop trying to deceive me."

"I assure you, I do not intend on-"

"Oh, I'm assured…" I sighed, looking at him with a frustrated and bored expression. "I've seen what happens when you 'assure' a patient. Do you really think I'm that fucking stupid?"

"No need for the profanities, Commander," he sighed, exasperated. He started to rub his temples, a sure sign he had a killer headache. "You will be sent back into your straitjacket confinement treatment."

"You know what?" I asked. "When I get out of here…I'll put you through all the hell I've suffered because of you!" I spat, saying each word so it would get through his thick skull. He sighed, writing something down on a datapad.

One of the guards, a clone, no less, approached my cautiously before unbuckling the restraints, hoisting me to my feet, a strong hand cuffing my wrists behind my back. I hung my head, my chin touching the v-neck white shirt all patients wore with matching pants. I glared at the doctor as the guards took me away.

"Later, mother fucker," I mumbled as I left my quarters. After walking through several hallways that stunk of chlorine and hand sanitizer, we entered a room where I was strapped in a sitting position on a small steel stool, where the guard stuffed me into a straitjacket, preventing me from kicking his ass and escaping.

The thick steel door creaked as it closed with a clunk, informing me that the foot-thick steel bar was in place.

And once again, I went through hell.


	6. Guilt

**Vein's POV**

Guilt

You are my eternal companion

When I smile,

You shake your head.

When I love,

You pull me back down.

When I reach for the sky,

You lower my hand with a frown

When I cry,

You smile

When I scream,

You laugh in my face.

You are always there,

Breaking me down,

Piece

By fragile piece.

Guilt

You are my eternal enemy.

My internal conflict

Is against you.

My worries,

Are the result of a victory on your side.

My fear,

Is the result of your intimidation.

Guilt

You are my hate,

You are my fear,

You are my sorrow,

You are my isolation,

You are my thirst.

Guilt.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

**GET OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE!**


	7. Nightmare

**Vein's POV**

I awoke with a jolt from yet another painful nightmare. Covered in sweat and tears, breathing heavily, I leaned forward and let my tears fall and echo on the cold metal floor. With every gasp and quiver, my mind loses part of itself. With every scream or cry, my heart breaks into ever smaller pieces.

I try to lift my head to speak, but my guilt weighs me down, stopping me from ever seeing the light of day that I craved so. With a push, I lifted my head and saw a faint image of that cursed doctor that had tortured me for so long. He looked at me strangely, almost sad. But not quite.

"Your nightmare has just begun," it whispered. I put on my best I'd-like-to-see-you-try-mother-fucker face. The demon of a doctor smiled his signature smile. He approached me, and laid a hand on my tear stained cheek. "You're my favorite patient, you know that?"

I practically bit at his hand, but he was already where he was before.

"I've always considered you a daughter to me," he said.

"If you really did, you wouldn't be doing this," I growled. "And, you wouldn't exist, because only a fucking asshole would be tormenting me like this."

"I've always loved your confident personality."

"Shut the fuck up," I spat before he disappeared. Before I knew it, a sharp, electric pain erupted in my head. I winced as A small trickle of blood made its way down from my forehead over my eye, to stain the white straitjacket wrapped around me. As the pain increased, I couldn't breathe anymore. It felt as if someone was stabbing me in the chest. I screamed as hard as I could before I blacked out.


	8. Choices

**Dr. Feinz' POV**

"Are you crazy?" my assistant yelled at me as I drive the syringe connected to the patient home. "That amount can kill her!"

"I know," I sighed, walking out the door, watching the patient scream and writhe in her straitjacket. I heard the heavy door open and a dragging sound. When I turned around, I saw my assistant dragging the patient into the room. I sighed heavily before I began the long process of treating her injuries.

"Two hundred milligrams of thorizine," I said, holding out my hand to feel a syringe placed in it. I placed it in her shoulder and emptied its contents. "Oxygen mask," I said, holding out a hand, not looking away from my injured patient. As I strapped on her mask, I had a brilliant thought. "Finne, encrypt all medical files concerning patient 327."

"And why should I do so?" he asked me with a raised eyebrow.

"It's classified," I responded, checking the patient's vital signs.

"I've just had enough of all this secrecy!" he snapped, glaring at me with a fierce determination glowing in his black eyes. "Do you_ want _me to tell the Medical Council of these brutal treatments?"

"You are to shut your blathering mouth on this matter, is that clear?" I growled, grabbing him by his lab coat, pulling him close to me so I could make sure he wasn't lying.

"We both know that _she_," he snarled, pointing at the patient on the gurney. "Does not deserve this."

"She is a _murderer_ and a _traitor_!" I yelled in his face. "It was her choices that forced me to do this!"

"We all have to make choices," he replied. "But it is you that does not understand _hers_."

"Oh…" I continued. "I understand perfectly. Oh, she was frightened. Oh, she was terrified. Oh, she was starving. Oh, she was dying."

"Your fat head has never gone without food."

"That is because I deserve it!"

"_She_ deserves it!"

"Oh…" I resumed with a small nod. "So you have become attached to this patient?"

"I simply understand her situation," he said, forcing his way out of my grip. "And she isn't just a patient. She is a human being. She has feelings, a life, a heart, a soul and a future."

"You will not have a future unless you get out of my sight!" I snarled as he ran out of the room.


	9. Free

**Vein's POV**

When I opened my eyes, a bright white light was shining in my eyes. I could barely see a blurred figure looking down on me. He had curly black hair, but everything else was too fuzzy to see.

"Relax," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I had the urge to slap it away, but any movement made me impossibly sore. "You lost a lot of blood. Try not to move."

"Too late for that," I groaned, closing my eyes tightly.

"Look, I know that this is hard for you," he whispered, leaning in closer.

"You have no idea," I mumbled, turning away from him.

"If you want, I could have Dr. Feinz go easy on you," he said, voice barely audible. I turned towards him and nodded. He smiled before continuing. "All these treatments are _illegal_. I've been trying to rat him out since you got here, but none of the authorities believe me."

"Well…I can't help you," I sighed. "If you haven't noticed, I'm not _exactly _in a position to give_ any_ demands."

"True," he chuckled. I hadn't heard a laugh in a long time, and I couldn't help but smile. He almost reminded me of- no.

"Look, just don't even try," I sighed, leaning back onto the pillow, eyes closing slowly.

"No, _you_ look," he said. "I understand what you're-"

"Shut your damn mouth," I hissed through grinding teeth. "Just leave me alone and I _might_ rip out your tongue instead of murdering you _painfully _and _slowly_."

He glared at me before stepping back with a frown. As he walked out of the room and the guards took their positions, I thought about what he had said. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turning into hours.

I closed my eyes and relaxed, tricking the guards into thinking that I was asleep. I heard them slowly leave, and I unconsciously smiled. Opening my eyes, I looked at the metal restraints on my wrists and ankles. I spat on my wrists, and slid my hands out. I leaned forwards and fiddled with the ankle-cuffs, finding the right spot to hit. I tapped on them harshly, and they popped open. After stretching my legs, I stood up and slipped on my shoes. I took off my belt and wrapped it around my wrists. I slowly crept to the other side of the room before pressing an ear on the door. I heard the slow and steady breathing of the guards. I stepped back and kicked the door hard, and it crushed one guard, and I jumped the other one, wrapping my belt around his neck.

"Fuck you," I whispered in his ear as his silent screams went unheard. He went limp and I dropped him. I tip-toed through the hallways, running into several guards, but I took care of them quickly. I looked around a corner, and saw a patrol squad pass by. Ducking back behind the wall, I waited until their footsteps were gone. I glanced at the glass door I was originally going to run out of, and noticed the electric generator attached to it. It was a live wire, waiting for some chance to electrocute someone.

"Feinz, you son of a bitch," I whispered, glancing around for means of escape. I looked up, and saw a ventilation duct. I reached up and removed the cover, tossing it inside. I jumped up, pulling myself into the duct silently. After placing the cover in place, I wiggled through tube after tube until I felt a cool breeze. I found a vent at the roof, stars shining behind it.

Smiling, I removed the cover, lifting my self out of the duct. I let the cool Coracant breeze rush over my cheeks. I extended my anrms and spun around, a stupid grin plastered on my face.

I am free.


	10. Rain

**Vein's POV**

I had no choice; I had to run or I would be put back in that goddamned rehabilitation center. I had been running for nearly two hours, with the police droids hot on my tail. I ducked into a deserted alleyway, and hid behind some crates until the patrol speeder went by. A clap of thunder rolled across the city, and the walls slightly shook as the rain started to fall. I crouched down and tried to shield myself from the rain with an old garbage bag.

As the sky grew dark, and the dirty criminals grew aroused, I didn't feel very safe, especially when some drunk men passed by. They stopped when they saw me, and one of them stumbled forward, wobbling slightly.

"What's a sexy whore like you doing in a shit-hole like this?" he asked me, voice slurred from the liquor. I didn't respond. "Not much of a talker, eh? I could probably make you _scream_," he chuckled, hiccupping softly.

"If you really think I'll go with you and get raped…you need to grow a set," I spat. He looked surprised that I had actually spoken at all.

"Oh, I could prove that to ya, babe," he responded, a wicked smile on his unshaved face. He started to move closer to me, until he reached down to grasp my arm, I snapped. I kicked him in the kiwis before performing a judo-flip, sending him onto the ground. I pinned his arms behind his back. I leaned in so I could talk to him. I heard the others run away screaming.

"_This sexy whore _doesn't do well with her enemies, and I suggest you avoid getting put on my list," I whispered in his ear. I let him go, and watched him run away and fall on his face. He didn't get back up. I spotted a clone patrol trooper pass by.

"Officer!" I called. He stopped and looked at me. He just stared at me for a minute before dropping his gun and running to me, embracing me tightly. He took off his helmet to reveal someone I never expected to see again: _Rain_.


	11. Memories

**Vein's POV**

As Rain drove me to the Temple, I thought about all the things we had been through.

_Rain and I had trained on Kamino together, and we were inseparable. We had been engineered to be the perfect match, to mate and create a super-soldier, and they would have cloned the child. We were always laughing, always happy. He always brings a smile to my face. All those pranks we planned, all those kisses and hugs we shared, all those classes we skipped just to have some time alone… I remember when we stuffed Rex's pillow and mattress with bacon-scented air fresheners. He ran out of his barracks with a hand over his mouth! It was hilarious! And the time when we switched a cloning PowerPoint with a sleezy, dirty music video!_

"I'm glad to see you," I whispered to him, grasping his hand in mine. He smiled.

"But I'm happier," he replied, stroking my hand with his thumb.

_Just before we were supposed to mate, the Separatists attacked Kamino, and we were shipped out, and never saw each other again._

As we pulled up at the Temple, I wondered what he would think of me when I told him how broken I have become. Would he leave? Would he understand?

"Aren't you coming?" he asked me as I got out of the speeder. I smiled weakly before walking with him into the Jedi Temple, hand in hand.


	12. Truth

**Rain's POV**

I couldn't believe it; Vein is on Coracant. Last time I checked the clone roster, she had been assigned to Umbara under General Skywalker…but I couldn't remember what happened there. She looked pale and nervous on the way to the temple, and she kept biting her lip _hard_.

"Alright, what's going on?" I demanded, turning her to face me, stopping dead in my tracks.

"Nothing," she said, looking even paler and nervous. "Nothing's wrong."

I raised an eyebrow before continuing. "You've been fidgeting and shaking the whole way here. I've known you for thirteen years, and I know when you're lying."

"I'm just a little tired," she insisted before continuing towards the temple. I sighed before following her, eyeing her body language carefully. "Will you stop doing that!"

"Doing what?" I asked with her annoyed tone, crossing my arms before stopping completely. She stopped, sighed, then turned towards me. Her cold gray eyes were red and puffy, as if she had been crying. She's one of the toughest clones there are, and she's _crying_.

"I-I…" she stammered before breaking down and bawling. My eyes widened at the sight of a hardened, beautiful soldier drop onto her knees and cry her insides out. I knelt down to her level and wrapped my padded arms around her as she wept. I couldn't think of a reason why she was so overcome, yet she was curled up in my arms like a crying child…that can kill you a million different ways, but a child all the same.

"Shhh…" I whispered, stroking her wet and dirty hair, looking for a place we could talk this over. I gently lifted her up into my arms, and slowly walked into the Temple, where I quickly explained the situation to a passing Master, who directed me towards some spare quarters.

As I set her down on the bed, I noticed how beaten and bruised she was, cuts and dots all along her arms and legs, several nasty bruises as well, but mostly on her head. Even covered in injuries, she was still my Vein, my love.

"Rain?" she asked, voice cracking in the middle of the word. I sat down next to her and held her hand, leaning in so she could see me with her tear-filled eyes.

"Yes?" I whispered, stroking a dirty lock of hair away from her face.

"I need to tell you what happened," she whispered back. I nodded so she could continue. "A-after we were sh-shipped out…I-I was assigned to Umbara," she said, gulping loudly. "General S-skywalker had been called b-back to…Coracant, so K-k…K-krell took his place.

"M-me and my troop were sent…on a suicide mission…b-but half of u-us survived…about five h-hundred…the men were afraid…w-we were lost in the d-darkness for a week…no food…no water…we couldn't find the outpost…w-we were ambushed…countless d-droids…w-wiped half of us out. The men were getting r-r-restless…kept fighting e-each other…saying they would eat…the l-loser. I was so scred…one of th-them attacked me…and I lost it," she bawled at the end, burying her reddened face in my shoulder. She was shaking uncontrollably now, barely able to breathe. "I-I…" she continued. "I…killed them. I killed them all."


End file.
